you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
