you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Sober January is a disaster.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
