um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
