Who wears a wallet chain?!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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