Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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