So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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