Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
