Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
