Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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