Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

He has that thing where they hang SUPER low

(650): View more from California

Ewww!! Elephantitis

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(419): View more from Ohio

take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.

(573): View more from Missouri

Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"

(646): View more from New York

how do you like your eggs?

(865): View more from Tennessee

over tits

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(828): View more from North Carolina

i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby

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(609): View more from New Jersey

You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.

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(586): View more from Michigan

well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...

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