we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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