No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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