So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
