I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
