wanna go halves on a baby?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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