You can't special order awesome
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
