There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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