did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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