did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
