it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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