Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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