I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize