I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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