You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
