I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
