I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
handjob tips. give me some.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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