My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
