Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he was CRYING into my vagina
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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