I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
