she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
