So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
