xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
