We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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