There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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