just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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