you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
