and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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