I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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