I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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