just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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