One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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