You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
