im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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