So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
