First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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