There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
