im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
