You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
