Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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