After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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