I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
