the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
