I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
