the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
