I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
