so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
