What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
