dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
