my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
