Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Couch. On fire.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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