Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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