Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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