it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
