Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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